What Makes A Man
by DiezeL
Summary: No one knows where he is but Harry's standing behind everyone else, watching the woman that he loves slip away from him...Just a one shot!


Author's Note:  You can thank Westlife for this story because of the song What Makes A Man.  For now, it's one-shot.  But I might change my mind way later in time and write a full-fledged fic to go with it.  Until then, please enjoy this.  It's angsty so that's kind of oxymoronic, but oh well.  Let the cheers and jeers come.

Disclaimer:  Characters and storlyline all belong to JKR.  All hail thee o wonderful writer who brought Harry Potter to our lives.  I'm simply borrowing some ingredients for a new dish.

**What Makes A Man**

     I can do this.  

     I can stand here and watch behind everyone else.  

     I can hold myself back and just let her marry him.

     Merlin, it hurts like hell.  And that's just the beginning.

_This isn't goodbye  
Even as I watch you leave_

     But they both think I'm dead.  Which I am.  I'm no longer Harry Potter but it's still Harry's heart that loves her.  And love her forever, it will do.

     "We are gathered here together in this ceremony to unite Hermione Granger and…" the wizard minister started.

_This isn't goodbye  
I swear I won't cry_

     That single sentence was like hot oil being poured over my back.  It burns.  It scalds.

     And she was smiling at him all this time.

     So was he.

_Even as tears fill my eyes  
I swear I won't cry_

     I wonder what would happen if they knew I was here, standing behind all the guests who had come to witness this important event.  Would they stop the ceremony?  Maybe, but I'm not sure I'd want that.  Actually, yes I would but that would be wrong.

_Any other girl, I'd let you walk away  
Any other girl, I'm sure I'd be ok_

     It has been two years since I fulfilled my destiny.  Lucky for me I was the one who came out on top.  But no one else knew that.  They knew that I was triumphant over Voldermort.  But they also believed that my victory came at a price.  Oh I paid a high price to lose the scar.  To them, I was lost in the that epic battle.

     Epic?

     Yes, it was epic.

     I saved the whole wizarding world from Him.  For the umpteenth time in my life.  Well, two years ago, it became final.  Until of course a new Dark Lord decides to plague the world I loved.  And use the woman I loved to get to me.  Correction, the woman I still love.

_Tell me what makes a man  
Wanna give you all his heart_

_Smile when you're around   
And cry when you're apart_

     Back to the wedding.  I'm reminiscing too much on something that happened over two years ago.

     Two years.

     Where have I been?  I don't remember much.  It was all just about time passing.  I needed the break from the world I loved.  I didn't like it but I knew I had to do it to preserve my sanity after I murdered someone.

     Back to the wedding, Harry.

     Oh right.

     I had to remember this.

     I have to memorize her face because the memory of her is the only thing I can have now.

     I always thought that I would be the one standing next to her before the wizard minister.

     Well, not always but after our sixth year, that's when I thought about it.  That was when I almost lost her.

_If you know what makes a man  
Wanna love you the way I do  
Girl you gotta let me know  
So I can get over you_

     Of course, I saved her back then.  It was today that I was really losing her.  I'm going to lose her to my other best friend.

     It's okay, I keep reminding myself.  I'm losing her to a wonderful guy.  He's the brother I never had.  His family was the family I never had.  His friendship is a treasure that I will always value.  And I will always value hers as well, along with the love she gave to me finally in our seventh year.

     Too bad that it didn't last.  I had to go away because I was dead to them.  I was dead to the wizarding world.

_What makes her so right?  
Is it the sound of her laugh?  
That look in her eyes  
When do you decide?_

     Clenching my fists, my fingernails dug into my hands painfully.  I know that I had a choice now to make it known that I was alive.  But they look so happy.  Who was I to take that away?

     "Is there anyone among this gathered crowd of guests who thinks that these two should not be united in magical matrimony?"  The minister asked solemnly.

     I do.

     I do.

     I do.

     But no words of defiance come from my mouth.  Oh Merlin, I still love her so much.  Even to this day.

_She is the dream that you seek  
That force in your life_

     Her cloak and robes where variations of white.  Pure and beautiful.  Her smile was so radiant that it was so painful to bear.  Again, part of me is trying to rationalize why it would be right for me to interrupt this.

_When you apologize, no matter who was wrong  
When you get on your knees if that would bring her home_

     I can't, damn it.

     I love her but I love him too.  He's my brother, my best friend.  He's the one who can make her happy.

     I never loved Cho like I loved her.

     I never loved Ginny like I loved her.

     I never loved any other witch or Muggle woman like her.

_Tell me what makes a man  
Wanna give you all his heart  
Smile when you're around   
And cry when you're apart_

     Damn it to hell, I'll never love anyone else in my life.

     This is why it hurts.  This is why it will always hurt for the rest of my life.

     I know that if I don't start walking away now my lips will move and my opposition will be voiced.

     I will walk away now.

     It's the only thing I can do now.

     As a man.

_If you know what makes a man  
Wanna love you the way I do  
Girl you gotta let me know_

_So that I can get over you_

     Giving her one more loving and longing look, I memorize everything one more time.  Then I turn to slowly walk towards the exit.

_Other girls will come along, they always do  
But what's the point when all I ever want is you, tell me_

     I can apparate out of here, but this event is heavily guarded since it's currently the most important event happening in the magical world in Britain.  If I use my magic, they will sense it.  Then they'd know I was here.

     Apparating is overrated anyway.

     I tighten my cloak about me more.  I could have used my father's Invisibility Cloak but I no longer posses it.  Besides, no one else knows or remembers who I am I gather.  Two years is a long time.

     Strangely, part of me wanted to turn and look at her one more time, really look at her.  So I turn.

     And I freeze.

_Tell me what makes a man  
Wanna give you all his heart_

     Her eyes held mine.  There was this look of…something o her face.  She recognizes me?  But how can that be?

_Smile when you're around  
And cry when you're apart_

     But there no mistaking it.  I finally figured out that it was a look of recognition that she held.  And…and…something else that I'm afraid to admit.  She was far away enough from me but she still found me.  How can she do that?

_If you know what makes a man  
Wanna love you the way I do_

     And that's when I realize that the minister has paused.  A few more people were turning towards the direction that she looked.  If I stood her longer, they'd know I was here.  He'd know too.  And he might hate to find out that I was here.

     I broke our eye contact and turned to swiftly exit the chamber.  It was time for me to go.  Maybe if I wish for it enough, she'd be convinced that I was only a figment of her imagination and nothing more.

     I knew it was a mistake that I came but I have a dominant stubborn gene somewhere on my body.  Bloody trait.  I must have gotten it from my father.  Oh well.

     My hand reaches for the handle that will open the door and I hear the murmurs starting to circulate.  I can't stop to listen.  I must go.  Now.

     As I exit the door, the voices get louder.  I know that there were some who must have recognized me by now.  Damn it.  I made another mistake.

     As the door is closing behind me, I start to prepare myself to apparate.  It won't matter much anymore that I'm using magic.  They won't find me.  They haven't for the last two years so what difference does it make?

     As I feel my body disintegrate into nothingness and before the door completely closes, I hear it.  It was a call filled with emotion.  

     "Harry!" She's calling out to me from behind the closing door.

_Girl you gotta let me know...  
Girl you gotta let me know..._

     It was the sweetest thing I've heard in the last two years of my life.  And I was walking away from it.  I can't stop.

     Oh Heremione.

     I miss you so.

_So I can get over you…_


End file.
